{"id":2072,"date":"2022-03-29T07:18:08","date_gmt":"2022-03-29T10:18:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ordemdazoeira.com.br\/?p=2072"},"modified":"2022-03-29T07:18:09","modified_gmt":"2022-03-29T10:18:09","slug":"inscricao-de-iphone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ordemdazoeira.com.br\/index.php\/2022\/03\/29\/inscricao-de-iphone\/","title":{"rendered":"Inscri\u00e7\u00e3o de iPhone"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

H\u00e1 uma semana surgiram rumores que a Espiruleta do Tio Jobs\u2122<\/strong> iria oferecer um servi\u00e7o \u00fanico revolucion\u00e1rio e original<\/strong><\/a>, onde permitiria at\u00e9 quem n\u00e3o tem onde cair morto possuir seu b\u00f3lido negro (ou verde, azul, vermelho, amarelo, preto, branco ou Rose Gold\u2122, n\u00e3o importa pois o olho onde seria utilizado \u00e9 cego<\/em>) e troc\u00e1-lo assim que um novo modelo fosse lan\u00e7ado.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Dispon\u00edvel tamb\u00e9m na cor Blue Asshole\u2122<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

A assinatura consistiria em um valor mensal onde voc\u00ea alugaria o aparelho e cuidaria de sua manuten\u00e7\u00e3o para uma posterior devolu\u00e7\u00e3o<\/strong>, impedindo que o iUser\u2122 tivesse a onerosa tarefa de dispor do valor total toda vez que trocasse seu Espelho Negro\u2122. Haveria tamb\u00e9m a possibilidade da pr\u00e1tica envolver seu Espertorrel\u00f3gio\u2122. O valor mensal dependeria do plano, sendo de 12 ou 24 meses<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Revolu\u00e7\u00e3o revolucion\u00e1ria<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Este pensamento absurdamente fabuloso e inovador se parece “um pouquinho<\/em>” com uma certa pr\u00e1tica que n\u00f3s do Terceiro Mundo\u2122<\/strong> estamos ligeiramente acostumados a exercer: o parcelamento<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

E n\u00e3ovidade<\/em> piora. J\u00e1 existem os planos de celular, onde voc\u00ea paga \u00e0 operadora o servi\u00e7o de telefonia recebendo um aparelho<\/strong> – exatamente nos moldes que a Apple prop\u00f5e<\/em> – e j\u00e1 sai usando. J\u00e1 no modelo da Pitaya de Cupertino\u2122 voc\u00ea teria de possuir um servi\u00e7o de uma operadora \u00e0 parte<\/strong> – mais grana<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Genial se levar em considera\u00e7\u00e3o os outros servi\u00e7os da Apple j\u00e1 existentes, como Apple Fitness, TV Plus, iCloud+, Arcade, Music <\/strong>e Prolapse Recovery Emergency Service\u2122<\/strong> que os iOt\u00e1rios\u2122 de plant\u00e3o j\u00e1 assinam (e com gosto, como um bom Ot\u00e1rio\u2122<\/em>). H\u00e1 uma remota possibilidade de pacotes de inscri\u00e7\u00f5es sejam inclu\u00eddos nos planos<\/strong>. Agora d\u00e1 pra entender o por qu\u00ea de ot\u00e1rio<\/strong> nesse contexto?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Se consegue pagar (e usar<\/em>) por tudo isso, \u00f3timo, voc\u00ea venceu na vida e pode queimar dinheiro \u00e0 vontade. Se n\u00e3o, \u00e9 de uma panaquice extrema defender quem quer invadir vossos rec\u00f4nditos corrugados com uma betoneira para minerar dinheiro de seus bolsos<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

E no fim das contas, o aparelho n\u00e3o \u00e9 seu, os servi\u00e7os n\u00e3o s\u00e3o seus, a vida n\u00e3o \u00e9 sua. OBEY. CONSUME. BE OUR LITTLE BITCH.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fonte: TechRadar<\/a><\/strong><\/em> – Bloomberg<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

H\u00e1 uma semana surgiram rumores que a Espiruleta do Tio Jobs\u2122 iria oferecer um servi\u00e7o \u00fanico revolucion\u00e1rio e original, onde…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2076,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[64,389],"class_list":["post-2072","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-odz-tech","tag-apple","tag-iphone","wpcat-12-id"],"yoast_head":"\nInscri\u00e7\u00e3o de iPhone - ODZ<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ordemdazoeira.com.br\/index.php\/2022\/03\/29\/inscricao-de-iphone\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Inscri\u00e7\u00e3o de iPhone - 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